December Newsletter

Hi everyone and Happy Christmas,

I hope this letter finds you all well, larders stocked, and preparing for appropriate amounts of indulgence for this festive season.

This is my first newsletter, so let me start by welcoming all and any feedback on the content, structure or anything else that comes to mind. I’m all about continual adaptation!

So, right about now, I’m looking back on the year that was (ok, and still is) 2009. And I’m pretty pleased, it being my first year of being in full time private practice. I am, of course deliberately choosing to focus primarily on what was good, useful, a learning experience or a source of happiness for me. That said, I’m not about to completely ignore the ‘bad’ stuff. It’s just too much of an opportunity to grow/learn, and I’m way too much of a knowledge hoarder for let those precious learnings slip away unheeded, and knowing NLP and suchlike allows me to depotentiate things that might have otherwise been uncomfortable. Which is nice.

So yes, it’s been a massive year for personal growth for me, has it also for you? What’s new and good about this year’s happenings & experiences that stick out in your mind? What things did you make progress on, or need to continue to do so in 2010? These are all useful (if fairly ‘stock-in-trade’) questions for reflection & goal setting type spiel, so let’s shake it up a bit now!

One of the things I get silently frowned at for doing (mainly from a couple of NLP fanatics) is the fact that I like to extol the virtues of, (when working towards a goal/outcome), the ethos of simply ‘getting stuck in’, working your butt off and not forgetting to quit whining that it’s hard (if you don’t want it, don’t do it!).

Not an elegant strategy, I’ll grant you, but it’s personally got me great results, and, from talking to other people who’ve been successful (both athletes and business owners) they’ve found this a useful approach too. So while not very ‘new agey’, it can get results. I’m all about results. I remember my jaw literally dropping when I heard a particular profundity from the lips of John Grinder – NLP Co-Founder. John was talking about the art and science of making mistakes. This was on an occasion I’d been selected as a model (being a former Champion Thai-Boxer) to be studied in an NLP modeling seminar.

“Success can be problematic” was the thrust of this part of the lecture. The idea that once you’ve learnt something can perform something successfully; the most dangerous thing for your own personal evolution is to keep doing it the same way.

Now, I admit this rubs up against my “If it ain’t broke don’t fix it” flavour of pragmatism – but there is real wisdom in what he said. By doing something you know a new different way, you learn. If it isn’t as successful – that new way, then you learn another way not to do something, and ultimately you’ll find new ways to do the elected behaviour / thing / whatever. I reckon this is a darned useful approach for life, as it’s better to have multiple ways to achieve the same outcome than just one.

So, in 2010 I will be consciously going out of my way to drop the ball a whole lot more than I allow myself to do currently. I promise to do so in ways that will not harm others or myself, because I’m a nice guy.  And what would happen if you tried on this approach?

After all- as Mark Twain said: “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you always got”

Another virtue (if it is one) that I’m a fan of is Persistence and being able to look at what you’re doing/where you are in any given moment, and be able to decide to continue or to do something else.

I recall a few years ago where persistence paid off. I’d been training in Thai Boxing only a short while. I was young and cocky, as previously to the Thai Boxing, I’d trained in and competed at international level for Karate. Anyway, I got introduced to my new sparring partner, who I’ll call ‘D’, who was around 22 stone of muscle, skill and attitude. I went through months of regular beatings, as he had some 4 stone weight advantage on me, not to mention skill and speed that belied his hulking frame. And it’s no coincidence perhaps that at my lowest ebb, a man in his twenties, went home and cried with frustration and physical pain in the arms of my Mum. But I still turned up to the gym as usual for my hiding the following week.
Fast forward by a few years, and ‘D’ had moved onto other pastures and I’d since become English heavyweight Thai-Boxing Champion. Well in walks ‘D’ who was genuinely pleased to hear about my fight record and successes (he actually was a really nice chap). Later on in the session and we get into the sparring. Only this time the roles are reversed, as while still bigger heavier and stronger than me, my conditioning was greater, my speed was greater, my skill levels surpassed his own. And I was the one controlling the frame, besting him. It wasn’t that I was born a better fighter – in fact the reverse was true, but I was the one who turned up week in week out. If you had asked me during my human punch bag phase, I’d have NEVER have thought it possible. As you find similar examples in your own life, connecting to them now, how soon will it be that you can feel that’s going to happen again next year? I’d love to hear from you!

Hypnotherapy, NLP & IEMT in 2010

It’s such an honour and a pleasure to be able to play a part in the transformation on people’s lives, and it’s important that clients recognise that it’s them that make the changes, I am just the facilitator of them. If you haven’t seen any of my work there’s an entire client session here – in six parts.

This client was wonderful enough to allow this footage to be released, in the hope it would educate and debunk what really goes on in a therapy session. The videos give a pretty good representation of what a normal session of mine is often like – a mixture of IEMT (Integral Eye Movement Therapy), NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), Hypnosis, and Self Relations Psychotherapy. If you’re deciding that now’s the time to make changes in your life, call me now on 07903 713234 – or reply to this email now.

Events Planned for 2010

Alongside my ongoing therapeutic & coaching commitments, I’ll also be continuing to host in London notable trainers/ therapists who have got a skillset that I know to be EFFECTIVE in ‘real’ therapeutic and clinical conditions. Coming up we have Nick Kemp teaching Provocative Therapy on 26th & 27th Feb 2010 and then (back due to popular demand) is Andrew T. Austin teaching the IEMT Practitioner on the 3rd & 4th April 2010. For more about these events you should check them out here. I’m also in initial discussion with some other international trainers that have unsurpassed skills in their specific niche, and I’m really excited about getting those guys over here too. Nothing confirmed yet, but watch this space. And nearly all of the short courses I’ll host will not require prior formal therapeutic/coaching experience, so they’re great for personal development too.

There are some initial plans to roll out some small scale workshops for the Fighter’s Mind™ mental performance coaching for fighters and martial artists. The model is still being developed, so these workshops may yield unexpected results! More on them as the story unfolds.

Well, that’s about all from me for now, enjoy the festive season in whatever ways work for you, and be sure to get in touch in the New Year to arrange some coaching or therapeutic work . Alternatively, if you’d like to join us on the workshops drop me a line – but move fast, the February Provocative Therapy event is already 90% booked (when see what you’ll be getting you’ll know why everyone else booked months in advance!). Finally have a tremendous Christmas and New Year! And for goodness sake drink plenty of water!

As always, if you want to talk about any of this stuff, drop me a line on or call me on 07903 713234.

Best of the best,