How the bad times can be useful: a personal development pitfall.
I had a crisis this week. Something that I hadn’t foreseen happened, and it was something that could have had a pretty dramatic effect in my life. And it was all my fault. I’d been having a great and busy week working with my Fighter’s Mind™ Coaching – new site up here: http://fightersmind/co.uk
Anyway, when it disaster struck (I’ll spare the gory details, but it was B.A.D.)My response was very strong. It was a feeling inside my body discomfort, to the point of nausea!
NLP has lots of tools to help deal with bad feelings you have, there’s one particular technique “Spin the Feeling” that would almost certainly have helped with this strong feeling I was having.
So before I hear you shout “Physician heal thyself!” I’ll tell you now, I did no such technique to allay these strong feelings of discomfort. Instead, I took massive action to rectify the crisis as best I could. I was in a severely altered state for 3 hours while I did this, and at all times I had those underlying dodgy feelings present, reminding me of what hell awaited me should I fail to act accordingly!
So why didn’t I do anything? Well, although the experience was highly unpleasant, it lead to me getting the job done. I’m also pretty sure that had I not had the that strong negative feeling (acting as a reminder of the world of sh*t that potentially awaited me) that I would not have acted with such a compulsion, focus and determination to make good the situation.
The end result was that I actually managed to right all the wrongs I had been responsible for, and better than that discovered new *useful* things in the process. Thanks to the bad feelings (?)
There are also some self help heroes that preach “feel good for no reason at all”. I think this is bullshit. In my opinion this has the potential to dilute the positive meaning that we take from a good experience. If you had Champagne every day, how would you celebrate a special occasion?
Provocative Therapy, IEMT, NLP & Hypnosis are wonderfully powerful techniques for change, and I use them to help my clients to feel better for good reason, not ‘no reason‘. But maybe I’m just old fashioned…
Workshop news
A big thank you to everyone who made it on the recent Introduction to Provocative Therapy & Changeworks weekend workshop with the mighty Nick Kemp.
Judging on the verbal and written feedback, it was enjoyed by all. There was a great mix of people types there, including Hypnotherapists, Doctors, Psychotherapists, Coaches, CEO, Consultants, Analysts and even a couple of ‘normal humans’ (whatever that means).
The good news is that following the success of the recent Provocative Therapy training with Nick Kemp I’m canvassing to explore running a further event in London. There are a number of options and would love some feedback on your interest. The first event was of course an introduction and Nick covered some (but not all) of the Provocative Icons. A future event would include covering all remaining icons, depending on the duration of the seminar
Please feedback on your interest for any of the following
- An evening and day event (as previously, Fri and Sat)
- A Fri evening and weekend event
- A Fri, Sat and Sunday event with an evening slot on the Saturday, concluding around 4pm Sunday
Drop me an email to let me know!
In order to make this as affordable as possible each day would be priced pro rata at £99, which of course is exceptional value as there are few Farrelly approved PT trainers running courses anywhere, let alone in London!
Subject to sufficient interest this would most likely be scheduled in the second half of 2010 due to Nick’s USA and European training commitments. Remember also that the voucher you hold (if you came to the Intro event) for obtaining your £100 to see Frank Farrelly in May from the last event expires on March 10th. At the age of 78 this may be the last appearance for Frank in the UK. And there’s even hope for those of you who didn’t go to the PT intro workshop too! I’ve managed to negotiate a £50 discount off the cost of the upcoming training with The Creator of Provocative Therapy – Frank Farrelly! The workshop is taking place in on:
Sat May 22nd – Sun 23rd 2010 at: Queens Hotel, Leeds, Yorkshire
Go here to book now:
Please note: To receive the £50 discount you’ll need to send an email to info@nickkemp.com or Call 01274 622994 with the code ‘AlanW’.
I understand from Nick that this may be one of the last chances you’ll get to see Frank in the UK, so because of that it makes sense to book now before it’s too late. I am definitely going, so you’ll be able to hang out with me there too. No laughing at the back there!
A first for London: Spiral Somatics ™ Workshop planned 4th, 5th 6th June
Whatever people say, we all want more success in one aspect of our lives or another. More success in our Therapy or Coaching practice, our business and our relationships. Rapport these days, thanks to a flood of well intentioned NLP derived literature and has to some extent been diluted down to merely “when they move, you move” and “feed back the same words as them”.
Maybe it’s me, but when I’ve tried to apply such a simplistic approach I’workshop andd results. And I am way too pragmatic to enjoy mixed results. “The Map is not the territory.” No shit, Korzybski!
Can you think of a time when your matching and mirroring (and other rapport fundamentals) just ‘didn’t work’? I know I have. Even though I was running everything ‘by the book’. I can remember frequently crossing and uncrossing my legs in sync with my communication partner like some mimic that needed the loo. It was a disaster.
When you need to get deep rapport with people (be they clients or otherwise) we’re told to “meet them at their model of the world”. The thing is, if you think about what you do – what most people do is actually acknowledge their model of the world, try to understand it and offer validation from the outside. What we really need is to be able to get rapport starting from the ‘inside out’. To read more click here for a full list of benefits and the story behind ‘Spiral’:
When you read it and decide it’s something you’ll want to take forward, drop me an email or call me on 07903 713234.
That’s all for now guys!
Al