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Glass half empty or half full – how you experience stuff is keeping you miserable

I’m going to talk about another ‘Pattern of Chronicity’. If you read my previous post, you’ll know that these are patterns of behaviour (this includes thinking!) that help maintain a problem, or keep that problem in place. Think of these as being the ‘glue of misery’.

So a client comes to see me for a first session. The session goes well, and in the days to follow I start to ponder how the client is doing and naturally, based on how the session went (assuming it went well) feel pretty confident.

Then when we have our follow up call (all my sessions include one) I ask the client how he’s doing and I’ll get a report back that there has been a problem. My heart usually sinks at this point (in spite of what I’m about to tell you) well, because I’m human, and want my clients to get their desired result.

On putting on my detective’s hat and investigating the details of the still-remaining problem I find out that the client has actually made significant progress but for some reason they just brush off these changes as unimportant and continue to focus on the remaining albeit diminished problem.

So here’s  our next Pattern of Chronicity in action: ‘Filtering for evidence of the problem, not the change’.

This where the client *does* change – but they are not noticing that they have the change, as a result of which they may continue to live out the story of being unwell, problematic or whatever, even though they may not actually be so.
Where the client expectation of what will occur is way off and sometimes unrealistic the 1% of the problem represents 100%.

How do we stop then?

I’m sure there are multiple solutions to fix this one element, but I use the IEMT process to help my clients get over this.

Within the structure of Integral Eye Movement Therapy there are elements that help the client to focus on the change as opposed to something unhelpful.

If you want to find out more for yourself drop me a line here or call on 07903 713234

If you’re a coach or a therapist who would like to add this  (as well as the other useful elements from the IEMT approach) for the benefit of your clients, you might want to come on the upcoming workshop in London in May. Details and booking here.

What are you filtering for?