6 helpful tips to be more Consistent

In this post I’m going to share 6 helpful tips to be more consistent. These are a collection of thing that helped me to be more consistent doing something that is hard –  for me at least. I am no expert on consistency, so don’t worry I’m not going to bombard you with facts and figures [sorry stats lovers].

To be more consistent: 

•  Take mostly small steps. No – even smaller.

• Especially if you’re doing something that you find hard. 

• Know your goal and keep knowing it: Visualise it, Live it, then park it at the back of your mind and keep it there most of the time.

• Stop putting pressure on yourself – it won’t help – unless you’re that guy who thrives on pressure.

• If you’re having negative thoughts about you/your ability – know they will pass and turn your attention to your breath and regulate it.

• Whatever happens along the way, treat it as feedback instead of pass or fail.

• Embrace The Grind intelligently, cutting yourself slack where appropriate.

Ok, that’s the short answer out of the way. Here’s the expanded answer. I’m going to refer to my Running as one of my examples.  Because last Sunday I went for my new  standard of a long run. Running [plodding  is more accurate] 15 miles through a sunlit Epping Forest at 6am.
Afterwards I recorded the 👆video above👆
Even though this is how I got to be consistent in sports – (I guess running is a sport), it can be applied to Business, Relationships or Life in general.

6 helpful tips to be more Consistent

Start and continue with the end in mind

This means spending some, but not too much time, thinking about your goal or outcome. The whole reason you’re striving and putting yourself through hell –  and even doing it regularly!
So, you’re going to visualise yourself as being the best version of yourself. This the You who has already reached where you want to be. Ideally, you should already know what this version of you looks like and feels like. But we don’t live in an ideal world, so if you haven’t done that, go watch this video on how to do that. Even if you have done that, revisiting it is something it’s good to be familiar with.
Afford yourself some time to think and feel like this version of yourself, because it will help you on your journey.

Take small steps

I wanted to write ‘baby steps’ – but there’s something about it that annoys me – I’m no baby, and neither are you. When I started running, [I still wrestle with the idea that what I do is in fact running] I started small, way small. In fact, I started out walking, just a mile or two. I just wanted to prove to myself that I could do it, like a proof of concept. It had to be something that was so small it was almost impossible to screw up. And then I did it again, and again. Till the big 2 miler became just the standard 2 miler which in turn came to be no challenge. Then I added 0.5 to 1kg to my rucsac, or tried to run a little further. I remember wrestling with my willpower to do another tiny bit to increase from last time. And as it was tiny, so I did it. But I still had a babyish whine internally about it – so maybe I am a baby after all. 👶

On progress

It’s hard being consistent, especially when you’re doing something that doesn’t come naturally for you. And progress (or the lack of it) can be a hard thing to manage. There are times I feel awful, that all my efforts suck, and are totally ineffective.  yes, there’ll be times you feel awful too, in your endeavours
Take courage though.
It’s helpful to remember that this is the landscape of your mind trying to push back against the way you currently are.
It wants to stay in non-achieving comfort, where it knows exactly what it’s doing, regardless of whether that is nothing, good, bad, it doesn’t care.
The Brain’s default is to be consistent, but to only be consistent with what it currently knows.
New stuff? Meh, not so much.
It cares that you have a heartbeat, and nothing else. It doesn’t give a single solitary damn about what you want, it just wants to do what it already does and doesn’t do.
“Thanks but no thanks, I’ll pass” – it says.

{HERE FOLLOWS A RANT TO MY BRAIN}

No brain. No no no no no. 

That’s where you’re wrong. 

See, this is your new way of being, whether you like it or not, and I know you like it not.

So I’ll take every babyish whine,

every scathing negative thought about myself,

about my ability,

about my identity,

and I’m going to make you eat it.

I’m going to make you eat it and eat it and eat it.

And when and ONLY when you’ve gotten used to eating it, and you’ve accepted that this is your new normal,
that this is the new me,
that this is the *REAL* me,
Only then will I give you some spare leash.

 

And Brain, I know you’re going to fight me, I know how cunning you can be,
what a sly git you can be, so I’m playing the long game too.
You see, Brain, I don’t want to fight you, really I don’t,
but this new thing, this new endeavour *must* come to pass,
must come to be part of us, of me. 

And as it’s inevitable [because I say so], I’m ok with you freaking out and making things tough. 

I know it is an effort to grow, I know it hurts, believe me I know it hurts.
How the conditioning is scathing, seemingly cruel, relentless. 

But it’s for the best.
So let’s get after it. 

Together.
You’ve a hundred negative reasons why you shouldn’t do it, why you shouldn’t persist, be consistent and resilient,
more than you’ve ever been before, and only one reason to continue to strive.
But it will be worth it.
Trust me.

And this unholy quest, the desire to be the thing I ‘cannot be’,
the chance to flip the bird to all the naysayers,
that’s your fuel, that’s your air. 

This is your daily bread. 

This is the way. 

 

 

{RANT OVER}

Dealing with Negativity

Let’s group Negativity into 2 groups –  External and Internal. Sometimes Internal occurs as a result of External, sometimes the other way around. Either way it’s all unpleasant.
External Negativity like:

• “Goal [X] isn’t for you”

• “You’ve got the wrong body type”

• “You’re too [insert limitation]”

• “Be Grateful for what you have”

• “I don’t know anyone like you who’s ever done it”

We’ve all heard soul crushing responses like this, when we’ve shared with our loved ones, friends or family how we are struggling to be more consistent than we are.

I’ve twice in my life been told this by very experienced, well qualified people that I should quit trying to do activity/job X or Y.

I proved them wrong both times. Let me be clear, I never became great, stellar or even very good at those things I wanted to do, but do them I did, and as well as I could.

 I found out that, due to my stubborn nature [ask my long suffering wife] that I could use OTHER people’s limiting beliefs as a personal kind of motivation.

I call this the “F*** You response”, because I’m coarse and largely uncultured. The more I thought about other people’s limiting beliefs of me, the more it kept me plodding one foot in front of the other, or going back to work harder at activity X.

I’m in no way where I want to be yet, but I’m En Route, and that’s enough for right now.

So Invite you to try the same method to see if it’ll work for you. 

Maybe it will, maybe it won’t, no harm in trying though.

Internal Negativity like:

• “I’m too old, too fat, too slow, too uncoordinated”

• “This is just another one of your fads”

• “You’re a narcissist”

• “It’ll never work, you’ll quit before you get your goal”

• “Once you’ve reached your goal you’ll stop and go the other way”

• “You can’t”

• “You won’t”

• “Stop”

• “Call and get picked up”

• “This isn’t for you”

• “Who do you think you are?”

I’ve heard all of these joyful lines, they’re not made up.

But this is what I noticed. I noticed that most often the negative thoughts rear their head when things get on top – or rather, I was under pressure – either in general/business life or yep, running uphill.
When cruising downhill, or things going fair or good in life, well that was fine. No dramas, no whining. Feeling good on easy street.

But the moment things got difficult, and I started to notice they were getting (and staying) difficult is when, as if by magic, the negative thoughts would creep in.
Now, I’m not saying this is your experience – we’re all different, right?
Anyway, here’s what I did. I applied a principle of Mindfulness  – god knows it took me months to figure out I should do this. This is particularly embarrassing given that I teach clients how to do it! When the negative thoughts started to come, I just observed them, instead of going into the thought and following where it took me and pouring petrol on them’ to make them worse. All thoughts pass, good or bad, so watching them, instead of engaging with them allows you to keep the emotional distance from them, remaining detached and not get caught in the weeds by them.
That would be a happy story if it worked by magic, abracadabra – they’re gone. No such luck. It takes concentration. In fact, I also noted that even when things were back on an even ground again, that life had gone back to normal, that the negative thoughts still persisted. 

Again, when I become aware of the pattern of these thoughts –  it makes them a bit easier to deal with.
I also found that bringing your attention back to your breath also helps to bring calm back to the mindscape. Not all the time, but most of the time at least.

Putting pressure on yourself

Most people, including me, have a tendency to put pressure on ourselves. 

It can spring from impatience caused by progressing too slowly [or not at all].
It can manifest itself when we are in fear of judgement by others, or comparing ourselves to someone more experienced at activity X.

Whatever the cause, pressure can be debilitating, and can lead to an even worse performance – leading you further in a downward spiral and hurtling towards giving up on your dream or goal. 

Not everyone suffers under pressure though, there some people that, in the right context actually perform better under pressure.
Although I’d like to think of myself as one such bloody hero, I am not, damn it!
Instead I flounder and fluster with the best or worst of them.

So if you’re a relatively normal human like me, try a nurturing approach instead. Remind yourself that you’re not an expert YET. If you were trying to encourage someone who might be, I don’t know, a little sensitive, what would be your best words of support and encouragement? Try that on. I also recommend joining a group of like minded supportive people who are going to encourage you and not judge your efforts. This sounds like a fantasy to find people like this, but they’re out there, just be a bit discerning and you’ll be surprised at the support others are prepared to give you and how much people will help you.

On results and performance

Similar to the progress, when our results aren’t matching what we/others think they should be, this can be another trigger for negativity to stretch its warty little legs. It makes little difference if it’s a sports performance, a business meeting or some other important activity or event in our life. If we are too critical of ourselves we’re likely to hinder or forestall the genuine ground we have made. This in turn can make us want to quit or stop being as persistent as we could be in making our goal a reality. 

What would happen if instead of that crap we decided that anything challenging that happens it’s just feedback? 

Feedback that WE get to decide what to infer from it. 

To help with this we can imagine ourselves as an impassive geek in a white lab coat, just dispassionately noting what was useful and effective in the performance/event/practice and what wasn’t. After we do this, we can take off the labcoat and becoming human again [sorry Geeks🤓].

We can then take the time we need to appropriately praise our good stuff, and can get on to affecting a fervent curiosity to see how we can change the stuff that didn’t work. All the while remembering we might not be experts, and if we can’t figure out the answer ourselves we can put it to an experienced person to seek guidance. This might be an experienced coach or a supportive forum. Then, using the same method of visualisation we did when we started and continued with the end in mind, at the start of our list, we can mentally rehearse what we’ll look like upon implementing all the useful new changes.
Just remember to practice from both 3rd and 1st person perspectives several times, OK?

Summary

While this is by no means an exhaustive list of strategies you can use to be more consistent in your endeavours I’m hoping that at least a little of it will be of some help. 
Hey it worked for me!
But let’s recap just to be sure.

Start and continue with the end in mind: Practice Mental rehearsal of your outcome.

Take small steps: Smaller incremental progress is easier to achieve and harder to screw up.

On progress: Remember your brain only likes what it already does, but you can condition it with smart effortful work.

Dealing with Negativity: Flip it on its head and use it as motivation – and/or use Mindfulness to detach from it.

Putting pressure on yourself: Adopt a more nurturing approach to yourself and seek an informed supportive like minded group.

On results and performance: Treat all results and experiences as feedback you can learn from.

So there we have it, my inconclusive personal take on being consistent.
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Stay Gold.